But God has a say in this too! Yes, God commands Moses that the “booty” be divided amongst the Israelite’s. Read verse 32 (which the author will paraphrase here):

Numbers 31:32 “And the booty, being the rest of the prey which the men of war had caught, was...” 675,000 sheep, 72,000 cattle, 61,000 asses, “And thirty and two thousand persons in all, of women that had not known man by lying with him.”

Could it be worse than this? The women were just war booty. Oh, yeah. It gets worse. How, you say? How about human sacrifice? Bullshit you say? Well let’s read on...

Numbers 31:37 “And the Lord’s tribute...” 675 sheep, 72 cattle, 61 asses, “And the persons were sixteen thousand; of which the Lord’s tribute was thirty and two.”

What persons? Why the 32,000 women virgins, of course. And what did the lord do with his tribute? What could be done. Since God does not exist, he could do nothing. Therefore, the Israelite’s were to sacrifice the lord’s tribute to him! You don’t believe it? Read verse 41:

Numbers 31:41 “And Moses gave the tribute, which was the Lord’s heave offering, unto Eleazar the priest, as the Lord commanded Moses.”

Now, do you believe these animals and women weren’t sacrificed? A “heave offering” is a sacrifice offered up to God. The priest was ordained to offer up these sacrifices. Since there was no God to actually come down and get them [of course the Bible doesn’t say there was no God, but it is so], the priest was to burn them so that the smoke and smell would rise up to God! Yes, these 32 virgins were sacrificed along with the animals. And they were probably the lucky women of the group. The others were divided amongst the Israelite men of war, to be treated, er, mistreated, as the men desired.

Is this the God you pray to for peace?

Exodus 21:7-11 “And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants do. If she please not her master, who hath betrothed her to himself, then shall he let her be redeemed: to sell her unto a strange nation he shall have no power, seeing he hath dealt deceitfully with her. And if he have betrothed her unto his son, he shall deal with her after the manner of daughters. If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment [clothes], and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish. And if he do not these three unto her, then shall she go out free without money.”

How nice! Is this the God you pray to for justice? The man is allowed to sell his daughter. But here’s the good news, whosoever buys her and betrothes her to his son, that man must also treat her like a daughter! What a relief. But, he can’t sell her to a strange nation! By strange, he means “foreign”. Good thing, too; because what nation could be stranger than that of Israel?

Now what were the “holy” laws about women? Leviticus is the priestly book. It was the laws for the tribe of Levi (the priests).

Leviticus 12:1-4 “And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying, Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, If a woman have conceived see, and born a man child: then she shall be unclean seven days...And she shall then continue in the blood of her purifying three and thirty days; she shall touch no hallowed thing; nor come into the sanctuary, until the days of her purifying be fulfilled.”

So the dirty bitch is unclean after having a baby, huh? But it gets worse. She’s unclean for seven days because she had a “male” baby! What if she has a female baby?

Leviticus 12:5 “But if she bear a maid child [nice terminology here for a girl, huh?], then she shall be unclean two weeks [twice as long as for having a boy], as in her separation: and she shall continue in the blood of her purifying threescore and six days [66 days! Twice as long as for having a boy. Naturally, because she’s having one of those dirty, sinful females!]

So after that she’s okay? No! There’s more:

Leviticus 12:6-7 “And when the days of her purification are fulfilled, for a son, or for a daughter, she shall bring a lamb of the first year for a burnt offering, and a young pigeon, or a turtledove, for a sin offering, unto the door of the tabernacle of the congregation, unto the priest: Who shall offer it before the Lord, and make an atonement for her; and she shall be cleansed from the issue of her blood. This is the law for her that hath borne a male or a female.”

So, allegedly, God created Eve with this reproductive system, but it’s a sin for her to reproduce, although God said:

Genesis 1:28 “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, be fruitful and multiply...”

This double-standard is akin to God giving the commandment “Thou shalt not kill”, then ordering the Israelites to kill by the tens of thousands! The difference is, the commandment of “Thou shalt not kill”, as with all ten of the commandments, was aimed at the Israelites alone! In other words, God meant, thou shalt not kill “an Israelite”. Otherwise, could he actually order the slaughter of other nations? Well, probably, the author certainly can’t see any rhyme or reason to this Biblical God.

It was even unclean for women to have menstrual cycles!

Leviticus 15:19-23 “And if a woman have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood [her period], she shall be put apart seven days: and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean: every thing also that she sittith upon shall be unclean. And whosoever toucheth her bed shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even [evening]. And if it be on her bed, or on any thing whereon she sitteth, when he toucheth it, he shall be unclean until the even. And if any man lie with her at all, and her flowers be upon him, he shall be unclean seven days; and all the bed whereon he lieth shall be unclean. And if a woman have an issue of her blood many days out of the time of her separation, or if it run beyond the time of her separation; all the days of the issue of her uncleanness shall be as the days of her separation: she shall be unclean. Every bed whereon she lieth all the days of her separation: and whatsoever she sitteth upon shall be unclean, as the uncleanness of her separation. And whosoever toucheth those things shall be unclean, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even. But if she be cleansed of her issue, then she shall number to herself seven days, and after that she shall be clean. And on the eighth day she shall take unto her two turtles, or two young pigeons, and bring them unto the priest, to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. And the priest shall offer the one for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt offering; and the priest shall make an atonement for her before the Lord for the issue of her uncleanness.

You dirty, disgusting women! How pathetic to believe that a God who created a menstrual cycle would call it unclean and a sin! If it is a sin, then it is god’s sin for God created it! Is this the God you pray to, to ease your menstrual pains?

Moreover, Leviticus shows that a master could engage in sex with his slave-women:

Leviticus 19:20 “And whosoever lieth carnally with a woman, that is a bondmaid [a slave, call her what she is], betrothed to an husband, and not at all redeemed, nor freedom given her; she shall be scourged [punished]; they shall not be put to death, because she was not free.”

Verses 21-22 go on to say that the man brings a ram for a trespass offering “and the sin which he hath done shall be forgiven him”. That’s it? Rape the betrothed slave-women, bring a ram to be burned, and all is forgiven! Women, are you certain this is the God you want to go to in times of trouble? Are you certain you want to pray to this God for justice?

Now, adultery is a “mortal” sin! But who knows if a women commits adultery? Well God does, of course. He’s omniscient (all-knowing). So he devised this simple test so that a priest would know if a women committed adultery:

Numbers 5:11-31 “...If any man’s wife go aside, and commit a trespass against him, And a man lie with her carnally, and it be hid from the eyes of her husband, and be kept close, and she be defiled, and there be no witness against her, neither she be taken with the manner [caught in the act]; And the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and he be jealous of his wife, and she be defiled: or if the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and he be jealous of his wife, and she be not defiled [either way, defiled or not, if the man thinks she’s committed adultery, she gets put to the test!]: Then shall the man bring his wife unto the priest, and he shall bring her offering for her, the tenth part of an ephah of barley meal; he shall pour no oil upon it, nor put frankincense thereon; for it is an offering of jealousy, an offering of memorial, bringing iniquity to remembrance. And the priest shall bring her near, and set her before the Lord: And the priest shall take holy water in an earthen vessel; and of the dust that is in the floor of the tabernacle the priest shall take, and put it into the water: And the priest shall set the woman before the Lord, and uncover the woman’s head, and put the offering of memorial in her hands, which is the jealousy offering: and the priest shall have in his hand the bitter water that causeth the curse: And the priest shall charge her by an oath, and say unto the woman, If no man have lain with thee, and if thou hast not gone aside to uncleanness with another instead of thy husband, be thou free from this bitter water that causeth the curse: But if thou hast gone aside to another instead of thy husband, and if thou be defiled, and some man have lain with thee beside thine husband: Then the priest shall charge the woman with an oath of cursing, and the priest shall say unto the woman, The Lord make thee a curse and an oath among thy people, when the Lord doth make thy thigh [this should be vagina as the original Hebrew word implies “generative parts”, but the pussies who translated it were too holy to print the correct word] to rot, and thy belly to swell; And this water that causeth the curse shall go into thy bowels, to make they belly to swell, and thy thigh [vagina] to rot: And the woman shall say, Amen, amen. And the priest shall write these curses in a book, and he blot them out with bitter water: And he shall cause the woman to drink the bitter water that causeth the curse: and the water that causeth the curse shall enter into her, and become bitter. Then the priest shall take the jealousy offering out of the woman’s hand, and shall wave the offering before the Lord, and offer it upon the altar: And the priest shall take an handful of the offering, even the memorial thereof, and burn it upon the altar, and afterward shall cause the woman to drink the water. And when he hath made her to drink the water, then it shall come to pass, that if she be defiled, and have done trespass against her husband, that the water that causeth the curse shall enter into her, and become bitter, and her belly shall swell, and her thigh [vagina] shall rot: and the woman shall be a curse among her people.”

So, if a man “thinks” his wife has committed adultery (or quite frankly if he just doesn’t want her any longer), he brings her to the priest, the priest gives her poison to drink, and if the poison doesn’t harm her (little chance of that happening), then she didn’t commit adultery. Well that sounds fair, now doesn’t it? Is this the sick God that women pray to when men abuse them?

Now, if an Israelite man captures a foreign woman, what are her rights?

Deuteronomy 21:10-14 “When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the Lord thy God hath delivered them into thine hands [so God, as we shall see, gives the Israelites these foreign women to do with as he will], and thou has taken them captive, And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and has a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to wife; Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house; and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails [you sick God!]; And she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her [get naked], and shall remain in thine house, and bewail [weep and mourn for] her father and mother a full month: and after that thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife [she has no choice in the matter]. And it shall be, if thou have no delight in her, then thou shalt let her go wither she will; but thou shalt not sell her at all for money, thou shalt not make merchandise of her, because thou has humbled her.”

There you go! After she’s captured (as if that isn’t humbling enough) the man “must” (this is not an option) humble her by shaving her head and paring her nails (aren’t these pleasant thoughts), then leaving her to mourn for her parents for a full month, then he can rape her. But, if he doesn’t enjoy the sex with her, after all he’s put her through, he simply lets her go! But this particular woman, unlike others, cannot be sold as merchandise, because he’s humbled her. Is this the God that women pray to when they get raped?

Of course, it is an abomination for men to wear women’s clothing, and vice versa. Oh, the Pentecostal’s love this one. This proves (according to them) that women shouldn’t wear pants!

Deuteronomy 22:5 “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man...for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God”.

Is this just a little trivial, here? Women, you’re just an abomination if you wear anything that pertains to a man! And God hates you (that’s what abomination is). Isn't this amazing? God commands the murder of innocent women & children, but hates you if you wear pants!

And how about this little “virgin test”:

Deuteronomy 22:13-21 “If any man take a wife, and go in unto her [have sex with her], and hate her, And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid [virgin]: Then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel’s virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate [now I wonder how they do that]: And the damsel’s father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her; And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying I found not thy daughter a maid...if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones [what else would they stone her with? Eggs?] that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father’s house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.”

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Continue to Part Three